Just Weighing In

Okay.. I KNOW I've been kind of quiet lately... but with the end of the school year and the beginning of summer is always a crazy time. Add to that the fun of watching a one-year old munchkin who is just a joy to spend time with and I suspect you can see why I haven't been as active lately.

Interesting thought... when my kids were one, I suspect they were JUST as cute and fun and wonderful to be with... but that I was WAY to tired to enjoy it as much. Now as the part-time substitute babysitter/nanny for my girlfriend's precious peanut, all we have is time for fun. Because at 5 pm, she goes home.

Don't think for a minute that just because I've been running around like a looneytoones character bringing kids to tennis and crew and chasing this baby girl and not writing blog posts... that it means I've not been logging. Oh yeah, better believe it's still true. If I bite it, I write it.

I have had some off weeks where I was under but I gained back... and I know why. When breakfast is at dinner time, because your day has gotten away from you, and dinner is right before you close up your computer at 1 am? Yeah... you're going to gain. I was still making decent choices, but eating so late DEFINITELY has an impact.

I'm back to eating breakfast at... welll. breakfastime. And that seems to be helping. And I'm watching my munchkin in a little bit, so I better get going.

Stay motivated. Don't let the bumps in the road be your downfall...

Just KEEP SWIMMING!

Playing the LOSING Game

Welcome my friends, aboard the MFP game show extraordinaire, the LOSING GAME!!! (cue thunderous applause)..

Rules of the Game are SIMPLE and if you follow them, everyone's a winner!

1) Write what you bite.
Anything that goes into your mouth gets logged (as best you can) into your journal. ANYTHING. Yes, those side dishes and sauces count. YES, you should count even that "taste" you had. Why? Because not logging it isn't going to help you lose.

2) Move your feet, there's more to eat.
Exercise calories allow you to enjoy more food. From what I understand (and I know there are those who will disagree with me here but this is what's been working for me)... The more you exercise, the more you can eat and still lose. I know some people say it's not working for them, and far be it from me to claim to be a professional... but the logic of the MFP system makes sense to me. Eating less than 1200 calories a day, on the other hand, does not.

3) Be a friend, don't offend.
Chances are if you are on this site, and reading this blog, you are one of the people who needs people in order to succeed. So are the rest of us. So while we all may feel strongly about a particular topic, there's no benefit to posting things that are critical, judgmental, or negative. There's more than enough of that. I'm pretty sure I won't lose weight by telling others what they should have done...

4) Leave your behind in your past and your past behind you.
Nobody ever made progress by working backwards or fixating on their mistakes. It's only from brushing ourselves off, taking our lumps, and putting our feet forward again that we progress. Don't let yesterday's hurts or anger get in the way of tomorrow's success. And don't carry other people's problems on your shoulders... we have enough to carry as it is!

5) Shout it out!
Every victory needs to be celebrated, no matter how big or small it seems. The ounces you lose are still accomplishments to be proud of... so let us know! DO shout it from the rooftops (or the car window, or the bathroom scale)...

6) Don't be a fool- the scale is just a tool!
Don't just rely on any one measuring tool to evaluate your success.... there are measuring tapes and places where inches as well as pounds get lost!!!! Those are known as Non Scale Victories (NSVs) and they matter!

7) Off you go, plateau!~
The fact is at one point or another, your body will stall. Keep watching those measurements, but don't get frustrated.... just push through it! You can do it!

Happy losing, friends!!!

What Defines Me

Well it's easy to say what DOESN'T define me, so let's start with that.

1) The scale. You don't define me. Heck, you don't even have words. You have numbers. And unlike "The Phantom Tollbooth", when it comes to definitions, words are WAY better than numbers. The best you can do is tell me where I am in my journey, not my value or my importance or my spirit. You can't measure my personality or my sense of humor. I only use you because I need a yardstick to check my growth (or should I say loss) status.

2) My weight. I am more than a number, (see above if you're one who likes to skip). That just shows how much of me there is to love, not who I am. I'm a small person with a big personality and that's not going to change no matter what I weigh. I'd like to believe that my weight is not the sole measuring tool by which my value as a human being is measured.

3) Food. What I eat or don't eat or drink or don't drink is my choice. Cheeseburgers don't launch themselves at my unwilling lips while my hands remain tied to my hips. No one is holding a diet coke to my face and forcing me to drink it. So, as long as I eat what I choose and deal with it, food doesn't own me or define me.

So what does define me? That's easy. It's my life .... my kids, my family, my friends, my martial arts school. It's my spirit. It's the drive that keeps me doing taekwon-do when I can't walk without a limp. It's the push that helps me stay up late so I can work 3 jobs, raise 2 kids, manage 1 martial arts school and a house, pick up and carpool and yeah... by the way, exercise, remember to get the RIGHT kids at the RIGHT place at the RIGHT time. It's energy. Positive energy. So maybe I'm naive. Maybe I'm pollyanna-ish. Maybe I'm just not seeing how lousy the world really is or how little water is in my cup. I DON"T CARE!

I don't look at how much more I have to lose... I celebrate every ounce gone!

Goals versus Journeys

I keep reading people's posts about goals. They have short term goals, long-term goals, and they seem to invest much of their sense of success in achieving those goals according to their plans. And please, I'm not an expert. Never claimed to be. I get that for some people, not having a goal to strive for simply doesn't work. I'm not trying to TELL you what to do... I just want to share what's working for me. In case it helps somebody.

I think maybe it's part of human nature... we want to be working towards something, trying to reach out and control our destinies a little bit and striving towards a tangible measurable result.

And, to be honest, in the past when I've tried to lose weight... I've done it too. I've had plans to lose xx pounds by yy event or be this weight by summer or fit into that dress by this party. And sometimes I made it, and that was great. But when I didn't? When I missed the mark, or life got in the way, or even if I became CONVINCED I wasn't going to miss the mark?

Well just THINKING I wasn't going to achieve my goal was enough to wreck my plans, throw me off my game and in some cases, give up altogether. Since I had set the goal, it seemed only fitting that if I wasn't going to reach it (Not getting into whether that goal was realistic or reasonable or even fair), why bother to try at all.

Then when I lost weight without even really trying (Thank you Taekwon-Do), 10 years ago, it hit me... I didn't have an goal I was invested in other than getting better at this art I came to love. I wasn't TRYING to lose weight and yet it was coming off. My goals were to manage my time, control my calendar.. and make it to class. And as long as I made it to class, the weight came off.

So how is that relevant to this situation, after all... weight didn't just creep back on by itself... nope. It brought friends.

Am I setting goals? Nope. Decided when I joined up that to set a series of weight-loss calendar goals for myself and make an arbitrary decision about how I was going to define success was a recipe for failure for me. So I, instead, chose to just ask MFP to create a calorie plan for me based on a concept (not a goal, just a concept) that I'd like to lose about a pound a week. And if I did, great, and if I didn't well that was going to be fine too. As long as I was on the right track.

I'm loving the control and ownership I have. Not over my scale, but over my meals. Not over where I'll be in one month or two or a year, but over what I chose to eat. Not over when I lose it by, or how long it takes, but over how much I WANT to lose.

For me, so far, it's working.

Testing 1.... 2.... 3

So it's always interesting when I tell people what I do. Former (recovering) attorney? People tend to snicker and giggle. I don't blame them.

Part-time stay-(at home) in the car mom? Cause goodness knows.... I spent WAY more time in my car than I do at home. This one has to get here.. that one there.... which kid am I taking where again?

Contract resume writer? Now that one usually gets eyebrows raised. Really... you write resumes... from home. Isn't that a scam? Nope it's real. Been doing it for just over 5 years. I actually enjoy it a lot.

And my personal favorite... Martial Arts school owner, and instructor. Wait... WHAT? Yup. Best. Job. Ever.

We opened our little school in March of 2005 when I was a high red belt. For those of you who don't know, that is the last of the color belts in the Taekwon-Do rank system (and there are 9 degrees of black belt beyond that). I tested for 1st degree balack belt in 2005 in the fall. Then in 2007, I tested for 2nd degree black belt. I was supposed to wait 2 years but I wasn't in a rush... and you know the rest of the story.

So when my instructor told me to get ready because she was planning to test me in April, I threw up a little in my mouth with fear got down to business as soon as I could. Step One: Relearn ALL my patterns in a modified way so i could still teach them properly but I could actually do them in a way that I could manage. Step 2: Make less of me so that my poor foot didn't have to work QUITE so hard to hold so much of me up (joining MFP came in here). Step 3: Get out on the floor and train.

Now, most people who are better than math than I am might have realized I said I was supposed to wait two years... but somehow I managed to stretch it to 5. And I was REALLY okay with that. I wasn't in a rush. And to my way of thinking, rank isn't how I define myself. I'm way more than a belt. Trust me.

BUT... my instructor says "You're testing"... and then drops the bombshell... and by the way, someone high ranking may be here. Hope you like surprises.

I hate surprises. By the time Saturday night had rolled around, I had convinced my hubbie we needed to move to Canada. Like... now. Immediately. Or to be honest, I hadn't convinced HIM, but I had convinced myself that I had convinced him. (P.S. the Test was Saturday).

Sunday came and I was literally shaking with fear (which oddly enough doesn't burn any calories?) before my test. But my friends pushed me.. literally they PUSHED me out on the floor and I survived and succeeded. In front of an 8th Degree Senior Master. Who I adore and who flew in to surprise me. AND I WAS (especially because his wife and he kept posting things on facebook which were true but which led me to believe he couldn't possibly be coming....)

But I did it. And I passed. And I even got a couple of chuckles out of the test board (which I appreciated because lord knows if I have any talent at all, it's in funny). And although I choked a couple times, and although my technique... well... STINKS because of my balance issues, I passed. And I've never been prouder.

See, I haven't just lost 14 lbs on this journey. I got rid of some fear and faced my test board. The weight is over. I am now a 3rd degree black belt.

Thank you for being a friend.... and what it means.

A friend cheers you on whether you've lost an ounce, a pound, or your patience.

A friend encourages you to eat healthier and doesn't lie when telling you that you've made a good (or not so good) food choice when you go out to eat. With them.

A friend notices a new haircut, weight loss, and when you've taken the time to put on makeup. Without you having to mention it.

A friend will tell you... the jeans are NOT the problem. And then blame your GENES instead.

A friend will pick you up when you're down, kick you in the seat of your pants when you need it. And NOT put up with your whining because they know whining leads to excuses which lead to failure.

A friend will look at your diary and not judge you. Or your choices. Because they know if you logged that you ate an arbitrary snack, you're either okay with it (in which case you don't need to hear that you shouldn't have eaten it) OR because you're not OK with it and you are already struggling.

A friend will watch a bad movie with you even if they know that means you'll be providing your own entertaining commentary. And throwing popcorn.

A friend will keep you from going out in the outfit you thought made you look beautiful but really looks like a circus tent. Or puts you in jeopardy of being someone's next call to What Not To Wear.

A friend will NOT call What Not To Wear on you. Ever.

As long as you're acting and living healthy, a friend won't tell you whether you should lose weight or not... they'll just support you either way.

A friend will agree with you when you say your spouse is an angel on earth or the devil's spawn. Sometimes in the same sentence.

A friend will agree with you when you say your children are either too smart or not smart enough to be yours. And then blame your spouse. :0)

A friend will NOT buy you treats they know you have a hard time eating just one of. Or they will only buy one. Or they will buy more than one but only give you one at a time.

A friend will laugh at your jokes. No matter how bad they are or how many times you've told them. Today.

A friend will promise to challenge you to wheelchair races in the nursing home.

A friend will be there when you have surgery, are sick, have company coming, or are overwhelmed. And they will forget how messy the problem was they helped fix... because they love you enough to never hold it over your head.

A friend will push you to do more than you thought you could.

I'm so happy you are my friend and I am yours. I welcome new friends all the time! This isn't the Titanic, folks... there are lifeboats for all!

Holocaust Remembrance Day- Never Forget

Today is World Holocaust Remembrance Day, a stark reminder of the depths of humanity's unchecked depravity and intolerance. I'm struck though, by the thought of the people who tried to fight against the tide, who risked their own lives to help strangers, who saw evil and attempted to thwart it.

On this solemn day, which serves to remind us of the dangers of bigotry, racism, and hatred... I wish I could say these problems are gone. And yet, I see people constantly judging, belittling, and even sometimes bullying others. Sometimes for their beliefs or their faith, sometimes for their figure, sometimes for their appearance, sometimes for their own needs. Isn't the lesson learned already?

At its heart, bullying represents the worst of us. It is NOT okay to build ourselves up by tearing others down. It is NOT okay to destroy others in an attempt to create what WE want. It is NOT okay to stand idly by and watch while others do things you know to be wrong and to not try to stop it, or at least bring it to the attention of those who can.

We must never allow the evil of the Holocaust to return. We must also not allow bullying to continue. Not in our schools, our homes, or our workplaces. The fact that there are children out there so traumatized by their peers that they take their own lives... this is beyond heartbreaking.

What can we do?

Be a source of light and inspiration.

Be someone who extends a hand in friendship to others regardless of race, religion, sexual identity, or economic status.

Be a champion of freedom and justice. Defend those who cannot defend themselves.

Be the one to remind others that judging people leads to a focus on our differences and makes it easier to point fingers at "them". Instead of "them", focus on "us". We are all in this together.

Be an advocate, not a bystander.

Be a voice for those who cannot speak up for themselves.

Be someone who does not tolerate injustice.

When we band together, we are unbreakable. When we allow bullies to earn their way to power, it takes a World War to stop them.

Never forget. Never again.