26 Acts of Love and Kindness in Memory of Sandy Hook Elementary

I haven't posted in a LONG time. Life has been busy, work has been busy, and I've been wrapped up with other "stuff". Until last Friday. And then it's like someone put the brakes on HARD and my head hit a virtual dashboard. And suddenly there was stuff I had to say.. but first I had to digest what had happened.

You know what bothered me first? The fact that they call this atrocity a "tragedy". For some reason, that was really getting under my skin. Hurricane Sandy was a tragedy. It was a disaster imposed on innocent people through no individual person's acts. What happened at Sandy Hook Elementary, however, was a massacre. And while the results are, indeed, tragic, they were due to the choice, actions, and evil demonstrated by a single sick individual.

I give tremendous credit to the news networks who chose to focus their reporting and attention on the victims instead of their killer. I do believe that making his name be the one on people's minds leads to his name being remembered, so let's not speak of him. I do pity his family and his parents because their name will always be tied to his. I don't know what caused this evil to erupt in him... but I'm not willing to take the easy way and blame his choices on whatever illness he suffered from... whether it was aspergers or autism or any other one of a host of mental illnesses that he had, they did not cause this to happen. He still stood there watching children dying around him. And he kept shooting.

Instead of getting on the gun debate bandwagon or the arming the teachers bandwagon, I for one would rather take a little time and focus on the bright lights that were so cruelly snuffed out. On the Teachers, Staff and Administrators who put the children's lives before their own. They are heroes. On the children whose lives were ended before they had even really begun. Their potential is lost to the world, and their families will be forever scarred. On the survivors who lost friends, colleagues, relatives, parents, and children. They will never get back what has been taken.

So what can we do? We're not there. We can't change what happened. But last night on Twitter, Ann Curry proposed we each take on 26 acts of love and kindness/mitzvahs to try to bring some light back into the world. And I'm in. Completely.Anyone who knows me knows that I am at my best when I have something I can DO to try to help.

My first act will be to create a paper chain of love. I remember when my kids were little (probably around the ages of the kids in Sandy Hook), one project the teachers gave was to make paper chains. You take a strip of paper, write something on it, link it to another, and close the circles. I intend to start mine tonight when the kids come home. I'd WELCOME any contributions... I guess my goal in making this is to create a link so that the folks in Newtown know they are loved across the nation. It's not that hard. Take a little cardstock and cut it into 2" strips. Find something to say that you wish you could tell people who are hurting even though it won't actually change things.

I believe that 26 lights were snuffed out in horrible violent ways last Friday. And that it falls to each of us to find a way to generate a little extra love and kindness. In at least 26 ways. That's how we can memorialize the lost. That's how we can make the world just a little bit better. That's how we can feel better ourselves. By holding hands and linking arms and standing strong. With love.

Momtruths about back to school time

There's this theory out there, that going back to school for kids means Moms sit at home, alone all day, waiting for their precious cargo to return so they can dote on them. And while there is CERTAINLY some truth in the concept that when your kids head off for that 7 or 8 hour period, we Moms all miss them to various degrees, there are also some other truths.

1) We really enjoy having a cup of whatever we drink in the morning. In peace and quiet. Even if we have to wipe down the crumbs the kids left before we can sit in the chair, it's lovely to just have that little bit of time.

2) For at least some measurable period of time, we have no one to blame but ourselves for the condition of the house. (This one cuts both ways, obviously)....

3) We get to turn on whatever music we want while we clean. And sing along. Loudly. Without anyone reminding us that the windows are open and the neighbors can hear.

4)We get to go the restroom. By ourselves. With no one fighting, pounding on the door, or otherwise interrupting us to tell us that (my personal favorite)...they didn't know where we were. One caveat though is that with no one else home, there likelihood that the phone will ring is directly proportionate to whether you brought it in with you or not.

5) We can trust that once we've used the restroom, the seat will stay down until the children returneth.

6) We can actually walk through the grocery store at our own pace. And not have someone breathing down our neck asking "are you done YET?" because they are in a rush to have us take them elsewhere to play with others.

7) We can eat whatever we want for lunch (as long as we log it) without anyone messing up our portion sizes by taking bites of "ours". Or by having to make foods that the kids leave us that we end up snacking on....

8) We can have ENTIRE conversations on the phone without anyone crashing into us, trying to start a whole NOTHER conversation WITH us, or grabbing our attention because NOW is the time they test that whole anti-gravity concept...

9) We get to talk to them. About their day, about their accomplishments and struggles, and about their experiences. And we get to listen to them share with us without having experienced it ourselves.

10) Despite all of the above, we get to look forward to them coming home. And we appreciate all the little moments more. Somehow, the little annoyances and intrusions seem less annoying and intrusive when we've missed them.

The Beauty of NOT logging in (or that's what friends are for)

So, for those of you who know me (or who follow my blog or are f/b friends with me), this last weekend was the Garage Sale of the Century. We went through and cleaned house top to bottom, clearing out kids toys and clothes and puzzles, games, you name it. We did a tremendous job of getting rid of anything we hadn't used in the last couple years. It was a raging success.

However, my phone decided to go on the fritz right when we got about neck deep in the garage sale cleaning project. I mean there was no internet, no email, nothing. Not a very smartphone.

BUT, I've been hopping. Madly. Here there and everywhere. So even though I didn't get a chance to log in like I have every day since January 2012, I missed it. I missed all of you. I had many funny moments where I went... shoot, that would have been a great blog post.

So what is the beauty of not logging in ? I mean, there are real consequences here. I know that because I didn't log in, I have to start over from day one. And I missed THREE WHOLE DAYS of logging. Not one or just two, but three. Enough that my friends were notified and many of you stepped up and were concerned. Thank you for that.

Wait... I get a chance to start over? To gear back up and get excited again? To not see the loss of days but the gain of opportunity?

I'm thinking that's the beauty. Right there. Where second chances are born. And new days are always dawning. And friends step up to remind you when you've fallen off the wagon.

Cleaning House & Taking Stock (The Garage Sale Weight Loss Plan)

It's almost back-to-school season. I know lots of people do what is referred to as "spring cleaning" but that's never really held a lot of appeal to me. Quite honestly, once spring hits, the LAST thing I want to do is clean.
So here I am, in the heat of the summer, tearing through kids clothes and closets, toy chests, and sweating bullets. Why? Because I have convinced myself and my immediate family members that what we need to do is to have a garage sale. Which I'm sure you can imagine, went over about as well as if I had announced we were going to have a family square dance (which I might enjoy but the boys in my house would rather have root canal surgeries without novacaine).
So, in order to rid myself of all the stuff I have just sitting around here (let us call them say, empty calories), what I am doing is hauling boxes and sorting, labeling and lifting, and sweating my tushie off while doing so.
Getting rid of things is a GREAT feeling. Pulling out the stuff that no one uses or wants anymore to know it's going to go to someone who will use or want it, that's the great thing about the garage sale. The cash is okay, too, but the real value to me is the clearing of the clutter.
So it's not just the kids rooms that are scoured for items of value. It's the kitchen, the basement, the storage closets, the "gift" cubbies, the works. Anything and everything that we haven't touched in the last 2 years is up for consideration.
So while I am getting ready to gain some storage space and some cash, I'm also sweating off some poundage. There may not be an exercise category for it yet, but I'm strapping on my hrm and I will be inputting these calories burned (oh heck yeah I will).
So what's the garage sale weight loss plan? Easy. Call your local paper and schedule an ad for a garage sale. Once you're committed to it, trust me... the calories will run about as fast as the children do when they hear the words "work to be done". AND, you will gain a sense of control over your environment which will only help you stay in control over your eating.
Best of luck. Sale is Friday from 9 to 4. See ya if you might be interested in a ping pong table, or a laserdisc player/collection (cause who didn't have one of THOSE)... ;)

Aiming for Adequate in an Olympic World

Watching the Olympics is awesome. Those breathtaking moments where we see others push themselves beyond what seem to be the boundaries of possibility and thereby redefining what possibile means, those are awesome.

And watching the winners, often neck and neck with each other, straining every muscle in an attempt to earn that coveted Gold medal, that's somehow incredible to watch too.

But what about those folks who don't medal Gold, Silver or Bronze? Do we just write them off?

Not in my book.

See, in my book, it took a tremendous amount of effort and ability just to be able to be on the field.

Heck, I couldn't even get my butt to London to WATCH these amazing athletes compete. But in terms of "newsworthiness", how many stories do you hear about the folks who stayed together in the middle of the pack? Umm, at least around here, it's a whopping none.

So, my friends, the winners get the glory and the medals and tangible proof of their accomplishments.

And rightfully so.

But it seems to me that each of those athletes that competed, well, they deserve recognition in their own right. Because, let's face it. I'm not going to be one of them. Now, or ever.

I'm okay with just being as athletic as I need to be to be healthy, just as sleep deprived as I have to be in order to get done what needs to get done, just as patient as I have to be to raise my kids, and just as committed as I need to be in order to keep losing weight.

I'm not in a race. If I was, I'd be one of those names at the bottom of the screen that very quickly gets passed over. But this is a lifelong journey for me. It's not about the glory or about being the best.

Sometimes adequate is more than enough.

10 Least Likely Olympic Sports for MFPers

1) The Exercise of WillPower: There are tables filled with salty and sweet and baked treats. All contestants simply have to wait around and not eat. The one who holds out longest wins gold.

2) Staring contests.

3) Synchronized logging.

4) Multi-Day Log completions.

5) Restaurant Ordering while keeping sodium below daily goals.

6) Multi-Tasking- Commenting on logs while drinking coffee and raising kids, answering phones, performing simple math tasks, and folding laundry.

7) Meal Planning. With a pretty much vegetarian, a carnivore, an omnivore, and yours truly, I do believe meal planning should count as an Olympic sport.

8) Calorie Counting. Extra points for accuracy and honesty.

9) Clothes Shopping- Guessing the right sizes, squishing all the appropriate parts in the next size smaller hoping to get there, and figuring out whether in fact "those jeans really do make my butt look bigger" should be considered.

And LAST but NOT LEAST:

10) Blogging.

Pretty sure I would win a few medals, and it would be worth the taxes I'd have to pay to keep 'em.

Reasons why Losing Weight is NOT an Olympic Sport...

1. With all the size changes, the uniforms wouldn't fit by the time we were competing.

2. Because no one finds watching "salad eating" as interesting as, say, discus throwing.

3. Because without a court order, none of us are climbing on scales in front of NBC and the world to show our losses. I speak for myself here but believe not everyone wants the world to know JUST how heavy we were to start.

4. Because the Olympics don't last forever but keeping weight off does.

5. Because, let's be honest, certain countries/cultures simply have more to lose and therefore it's not an internationally fair playing field.

6. Because most of the Olympic athletes I've seen are already thin BECAUSE of their insane exercise habits.

7. Because most of us who need to lose weight in significant amounts wouldn't make it through the Parade of Nations march without an oxygen tank. Or, in my case, a wagon.

8. Because we would need our own flag for MFP. And who wants to design THAT?

9. Because there are too many competitors.

10. Because the winning medals would add to the scale.... who wants that!?!?!?!?