1. I don't look for, buy, or seek out "cute" workout clothes. This is
clothing I intend to sweat in, not dress up in. Now this doesn't mean I don't
WEAR workout clothes everyday... I DO!!!! But we're talking sweats and a tshirt
that the What Not To Wear People would be very smart NOT to try to take away
from me. Seriously... I don't think it would be misusing Taekwon-Do to defend my
tshirts from those skinny fashionistas.
2. I don't want to make small talk while I'm working out. I want to yell at the machine, the television, the characters in whatever show I happen to be watching (Sorry Ben from the Bachelor... you don't even know that we've had a ton of words about your choices... pretty sure there's no way you can hear me). I don't want to have to think about anything other than whatever it is that is making me be able to finish whatever torture I am giving myself by working out.
3. I don't wear makeup when I DRESS UP, much less when I work out. I see people who spend as much time getting themselves "READY" to go to the gym as I would spend working out there. This seems counterproductive. If I wanted mascara running down my cheeks as I sweat and yell, I would call it WARPAINT, not makeup.
4. I'm not intimidated by the people who are already skinny, nor am I overwhelmed with the ones who clearly make it a job. But I DO NOT LOVE TO EXERCISE. So no, we don't have that in common. If I could get thinner by slowly chewing my own arm off instead of getting on thatstupid
recumbent bike, I would consider it.
5. I'm not looking to make friends when I can't possibly keep up. If I'm going to make friends and influence people, it's going to be when I'm doing what I do best... typing slightlysarcastic and amusing blog posts. Not when I'm sucking wind and trying not to scream because I feel like a hamster and there is NO CHEESE at the end of the ride.
6. The only thing perky about me is my personality. So when I see these ladies jumping and running and bouncing all over, all I can think is... there's not an undergarment in the world strong enough for me to be able to do that without injuring myself....
So there it is, folks... no one but me and The Bachelor when I work out. ;)
2. I don't want to make small talk while I'm working out. I want to yell at the machine, the television, the characters in whatever show I happen to be watching (Sorry Ben from the Bachelor... you don't even know that we've had a ton of words about your choices... pretty sure there's no way you can hear me). I don't want to have to think about anything other than whatever it is that is making me be able to finish whatever torture I am giving myself by working out.
3. I don't wear makeup when I DRESS UP, much less when I work out. I see people who spend as much time getting themselves "READY" to go to the gym as I would spend working out there. This seems counterproductive. If I wanted mascara running down my cheeks as I sweat and yell, I would call it WARPAINT, not makeup.
4. I'm not intimidated by the people who are already skinny, nor am I overwhelmed with the ones who clearly make it a job. But I DO NOT LOVE TO EXERCISE. So no, we don't have that in common. If I could get thinner by slowly chewing my own arm off instead of getting on that
5. I'm not looking to make friends when I can't possibly keep up. If I'm going to make friends and influence people, it's going to be when I'm doing what I do best... typing slightlysarcastic and amusing blog posts. Not when I'm sucking wind and trying not to scream because I feel like a hamster and there is NO CHEESE at the end of the ride.
6. The only thing perky about me is my personality. So when I see these ladies jumping and running and bouncing all over, all I can think is... there's not an undergarment in the world strong enough for me to be able to do that without injuring myself....
So there it is, folks... no one but me and The Bachelor when I work out. ;)
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