My Conversation with the Scale

So as I was heading into the bathroom this morning to face my scale, hoping to see a slight budge in the numbers, I had this thought of what life must be like from the scale's perspective.... which turned into a dialogue that I needed to share.

Scale: Are you back AGAIN???? Sheesh, lady, I mean I know I'm important and all, but don't you think once a week is a little much?

Me: Yeah... it's Friday. Again.

Scale: Do you REALLY want to know?

Me: I think so?

Scale: Are you going to yell at me?

Me: I make no promises.

Scale: Well... I'll give you a hint. You've seen this number before.

Me: Sigh.

Scale: You want me to lie?

Me: No.

Scale: Are you mad?

Me: Well, not really. I mean, I know the number is the same as the last few weeks. Any chance you're broken?

Scale: Well you could try resetting me. But you did that last week and the week before (and I hate to point it out but you also did it just now before you got on me again). Here, step off and try again.

Me: Sigh.

Scale: Nope, I'm right.

Me: It's okay. I know you're going to change at some point. And I won't give up until you do.

Scale: I think that's great. I applaud your persistence. But, one question.... do you EVER wear clothes?

Me: Shut up.