In some respects, I think of the Food Network as the voyeurism industry for
the food-indulgent. Yeah, I'm talking Food Porn.
I watch them all. From the shows where the chef yells at the contestants and every other word is bleeped to the scientific approach to food and its ingredients to the bakery battles, to the contests.
I'm hooked.
And it's not about the people, or their personalities, that gets my groove on. No, it's the food.Even when food is badly prepared and Chef throws it at the contestants or the garbage, it STILL looks prettier than anything I've ever prepared. Somehow, my cakes don't ever turn out even and my meals are as likely to be burnt as they are to be raw.
Somehow, the ground turkey tacos that come out of my pan are not as appealing or appetizing as the multi-course meals that these winningist chefs toil over. BUT, in my house, those turkey tacos are all the rage. Really.
I think if I actually spent the time dicing, chopping, slicing, sauteeing, stirring, broiling, baking, and grilling the food these fabulous cooks prepare in their professional kitchens, I'd never have time to blog or write resumes or teach Taekwon-Do. And there would be SO many dishes. And either one (or both) of my children wouldn't eat it.
So, for now, I'm a boxed mac&cheese mom. With a staple of dishes ranging from lasagna to tacos to stir fry...
But at night, when everyone else is asleep, I turn on the Food Network and watch the chefs at work. And then I dream of a stainless steel kitchen (with a robot dishwasher that removes and handwashes every implement and utensil).
And in that dream kitchen, in my apron and mitts, I become FANTASTIC CHEF. Able to produce low-cost healthy tasty meals with little or no prep work or dishes. Consistently creating meals that the entire family can enjoy. Supplying a range of spices, and flavors, and textures, and tastes galore.
Then, of course, the next morning, when I wake, I realize that it's just me. And I face my kitchen demons with a new smile on my face. At least, once I have my coffee. And I make the meals, and I know that after my family goes back to sleep, I will turn to my secret obsession and enjoy a visual smorgasbord.
I watch them all. From the shows where the chef yells at the contestants and every other word is bleeped to the scientific approach to food and its ingredients to the bakery battles, to the contests.
I'm hooked.
And it's not about the people, or their personalities, that gets my groove on. No, it's the food.Even when food is badly prepared and Chef throws it at the contestants or the garbage, it STILL looks prettier than anything I've ever prepared. Somehow, my cakes don't ever turn out even and my meals are as likely to be burnt as they are to be raw.
Somehow, the ground turkey tacos that come out of my pan are not as appealing or appetizing as the multi-course meals that these winningist chefs toil over. BUT, in my house, those turkey tacos are all the rage. Really.
I think if I actually spent the time dicing, chopping, slicing, sauteeing, stirring, broiling, baking, and grilling the food these fabulous cooks prepare in their professional kitchens, I'd never have time to blog or write resumes or teach Taekwon-Do. And there would be SO many dishes. And either one (or both) of my children wouldn't eat it.
So, for now, I'm a boxed mac&cheese mom. With a staple of dishes ranging from lasagna to tacos to stir fry...
But at night, when everyone else is asleep, I turn on the Food Network and watch the chefs at work. And then I dream of a stainless steel kitchen (with a robot dishwasher that removes and handwashes every implement and utensil).
And in that dream kitchen, in my apron and mitts, I become FANTASTIC CHEF. Able to produce low-cost healthy tasty meals with little or no prep work or dishes. Consistently creating meals that the entire family can enjoy. Supplying a range of spices, and flavors, and textures, and tastes galore.
Then, of course, the next morning, when I wake, I realize that it's just me. And I face my kitchen demons with a new smile on my face. At least, once I have my coffee. And I make the meals, and I know that after my family goes back to sleep, I will turn to my secret obsession and enjoy a visual smorgasbord.
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